The first post for any blog is a difficult one to write. It’s the opening line, the first act, the reason for why the blog exists at all. What topic do you start with? How do you set the stage for the tone and justify the existence of the site? Having blogged for over six years, this site is a bit different than most. Somehow this one seems easier because it is really just about the ideas in my head – ideas that have been swirling for months, if not years. Thoughts that have been bubbling under the surface, waiting for the right time to be penned. I’ve always been a writer, recording thoughts and chronologies in black and white. My formal writing career only started about five years ago, but the ambition was always there to ‘be a writer’. It begs the question, why now?
In my early years I considered the ways in which I could achieve my dream of being an author. In junior high I dabbled in the realm of fiction writing, quickly realizing it was not my forte. Well, let’s be honest…I was pretty bad at it. Most of my stories were about 2-3 pages long before I simply ran out of ideas, so I’d kill off all the characters (Before you suggest counseling, it was the era of Jurrasic Park, Andromeda Strain and other ‘creature/disease kills society’ books). Poetry was never my style, and I had little interest for non-fiction at the time. Post-college I developed an architectural thesis which I feel will one day become book-worthy, but it is research heavy and let’s be real: ain’t nobody got time for that (at least right now).
I quickly realized the only path to becoming an author was to focus on the only thing I knew: me. Well who the heck wants to read about that? I didn’t have anything interesting to talk about, much less happening to me. I resolved that if my life suddenly became interesting, I would simply write about it. Decades later, it seems I finally have some material. Now, before you get excited, this isn’t the next “Catch Me if You Can” memoir. By all accounts, my life isn’t very exciting compared to most. I’m one of the most risk-averse people you’ll meet. The thought of scary things is scary. And yet, I have experienced higher highs and lower lows than many peers. I have learned deep truths and life lessons far sooner than those my age. It occurs to me that waiting until the end of my life to start sharing this journey is unwise and selfish. I may not have all the answers, or the best anecdotes, but I can share what I do have:
Lessons on faith, love, hope. Chronicles of my journey through a series of losses that marred my birthday, ultimately leading to a deep-seated trust issue that I still struggle with today. Reflections on standing firm in a marriage that underwent 26 months of unemployment during the great recession. Stories of stubbornness, anxiety, depression. Tales of travels that lead to unlikely places, places of obedience. I can share a picture of what it looks like to give generously, dream big, and follow God as a light in this world – even when I don’t know where He is leading me.
I write now, because I have something to say. I write now because there has never been a time when there was more noise and more half-truths and more confusion. I write now because I have a gift, and I have a voice. I will be the one calling out – to those who were like me: looking for answers, looking for help, looking for hope, looking for light in the darkness.
I hope you will join with me on this next step in my life’s journey, and share the lessons you have learned along the way. Don’t wait for ‘the right time’ to be light in this dark world. Let God’s first command to the void be a command to us: Let there be light.
Will you be the light with me?